I woke up this morning with this awesome question in my inbox about whether girls hockey players should play with the boys and I wanted to share it with you and hear your thoughts.
“My daughter is 8 and plays Mite hockey with the boys. There is a girls U10 team in our association, and the coaches of that team are interested in having her switch over, but she wants to continue to play with the boys. She even talks about playing PeeWee hockey and learning to check before the time comes to switch to U14 and then girls’ high school hockey. We have been told by parents of several elite girls players that we should “leave her with the boys” as long as she wants to be there. Any suggestions?”
Here’s the advice I gave her…
Many of the best female hockey players in the world played with boys up until their early teens. When they first start to learn how to body-check at the age of 11 or 12, the girls typically have an advantage because they tend to have their first major growth spurt before the boys do. They can usually hold their own on the physical side of things until the boys have their big growth spurt - and then the game gets exponentially tougher for the girls.
The one concern I have with girls playing with the boys once they get older (over the age of 14 or 15), is that the physical side of the game becomes so important, that girls tend to focus more on survival than skill. Let me explain what I mean by that. As you move up the age groups in the boys game, the physical side of the game becomes much more important and that means that players start to play a “survival game”. They get rid of the puck really quickly in order to protect themselves from the big hit. The interesting thing is when girls who have played the boys game at the higher levels move over to the female game, they will continue to play this “survival game” for awhile. It takes some time for them to adapt their game and realize that now they have a lot more time to decide what they want to do with the puck because they don’t need to be worried about being drilled through the boards.
It sounds like your daughter is really enjoying playing with the boys and I see no reason to stop her. I would just make sure that when she finally does make the transition, she knows that she will have to adapt her game to focus on showing off her speed and skill when she no longer has to worry so much about survival. I would also make sure that she starts doing some basic body-weight hockey-specific strength exercises to build the foundation of strength and the speed that she will need to play the game at the elite level - whether with the boys or the girls.
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Personally, I only played house-league with the boys growing up so I was never exposed to full body-checking in the rep game. But I have always wondered - would it have changed the way I played the game for the better? Would I have been a more or less physical player? Would I have been more confident and comfortable handling the puck or not?
Should girls play with the boys?
Share your thoughts below.
~ Coach Kim
With about 40-years in coaching (mostly with boys), I’d have provided nearly the same advice. Great job, Kim!
If I had to add one observation (because I have had a few students go on to the US Women’s National Team), girls who play for an extended period of time with the boys seem to take-on a certain sort of demeanor and training mentality. It’s almost as if they stick-out their elbows and say, “This is my space!”
Again, great job, Kim!
Hi Kim,
Paul Lemenager here. I’d like to chime in on this one. I don’t think it is as easy an answer as one might think. Here’s my opinion. I think that girls should have the right to play with boys. That being said, I think that there are several things that one must take into heavy consideration. First, does the child really want to play with the boys or is it the parents idea? And if so, the question should be asked why. If she truly wants to, go for it. IF not, she should be encouraged to play with the girls. What I have often seen is the parent pushing the child into the program. Why? Because of the perceptions you stated earlier. This has some potential heavy negatives and should be weighed very carefully. It isn’t necessarily true, either.
First off, you run the risk of the child not building the bond with teammates that is sometimes so critical to having a continued interest in the sport. Part of the reason my daughter enjoys hockey so much is that she has a solid group of friends she plays with. These are friendships that were developed after she joined the team. Hopefully, these are the kids she will be playing with in high-school if she continues with the sport. Without fun, it will be a short-lived experience for the child.
Secondly, boys numbers in hockey are dropping, and as a result, “boys” organizations are marketing their teams to girls more than ever. Girls numbers are growing. By “robbing Jane to pay Peter” you are often times diluting both programs. This is not good for building a foundation for a strong girls program. In a sense, you could be undermining the ability for your daughter to play later in her academic career, and certainly future generations of young players. Our organization faced similar challenges this season. The local association marketed heavily to girls, even producing a commercial with girls in it. All the while, the same orgainization has an all girls program. Because so many girls signed up for the boys program, we didn’t have enough for two teams. I call this male sexual nepotism. If this didn’t occur, the girls would have fielded an A and B team, giving all the girls in our area a wonderful opportunity to experience hockey at a level appropriate for their skill set. Instead, we had to turn girls away because they couldn’t play at an A level, and these girls didn’t want to play with boys! You now lost five girls that might have enjoyed the sport, and will probably never play as a result. I know for a fact that many of the girls that did go to the boys aren’t at a true Squirt level either. The boys team has now taken on players that will deminish the quality of the boys experience, to the degree that they actually had boys who won’t sign up because their team won’t play to the skill level they are expecting. I’m reasonably sure that the coaches with have these girls sit quite a bit too. I also know that our U10A team who has been playing together for four years would be competitivie with many of the Squirt A teams, and probably dominate the Squirt B’s.
In the end, I think that all girls should be encouraged to play with their peers, UNLESS their isn’t an appropriate program to play with. This is especially true is we really want to grow the sport of girls hockey, and put aside the very stereotypes that held women’s sports in check for so long.
God bless Billy Jean King, Bobby Riggs and Virginia Slims Smokes!
Paul
Hi Paul,
Awesome post. You make some really great points. I always encourage girls to play with their peers if there is opportunity to do so that allows for the player to develop both on and off the ice. We definitely can’t deny that the social aspect of girls hockey is absolutely critical to the game and I can imagine that making the transition back to the girls hockey after playing with the boys could certainly cause some negative backlash. The bottom line is: Is the decision to play with the boys (or with the girls for that matter) the best decision for that individual player? Not really something we can answer with a definitive “yes” or “no”, but we always have to keep that individual player’s development, both on and off the ice, at the front of our minds.
~ Coach Kim
Hi,
As the parent of a girl that has done both I thought I would offer my perspective. My daughter played with the boys through her first year as a bantam (U14). I think that was one year too long. She is now in her third year playing with the girls and having a great time. Her last year playing with the boys she also had fun, but was not as close to her teammates as she had been with earlier teams. Boys at that age are changing fast and are really starting to take an interest in girls, but not as teammates. While none of them gave her a hard time they also mostly ignored her off the rink. Since she has moved over to the girls program she has made so many great friends and really gotten to know the feeling of being part of a team. Another argument for playing in a girls association is that girls that play on boys teams are often pushed to play defense. My daughter played D the whole time with the boys and has now been playing forward since she moved to the girls association. Your opening comment about most of the best female players having played on boys teams is true, but that is mostly because they didn’t have any choices. Girls hockey is growing and there are now many more options for girls. So I would tell the parent asking the question that they should let their daughter play with the boys as long as she wants through peewee, but would have them encourage her switch to girls hockey at U14.
Jon
I find for me as a goalie I have a much better chance of developing in girls hockey. I have friend who played goalie in guys hockey and there were 4 goalies on the Tier 3 team and he decided to quit. In my girls association there’s barely enough goalies for our 3 Bantam and 3 Midget teams. I now have the opportunity to play for the Midget Tier 1 team since they only have one goalie, I’m on the Bantam Tier 1 team. I have friends who played girls and went to guys, vice versa and some that started guys and still play guys and people like myself that started girls and will probably always play girls.
I really think it depends on the situation, the association, the numbers, the player, the teammates, even the coaches.